How many times are SAHM misunderstood simply because we stay at home. We’ve all encountered the “What have you been doing all day?” stares from those coming home from doing the “real work.” We get judged from people who don’t stay home and from other moms who do stay home. “What, you’re only going to post the sweet pictures on Facebook?? That’s not real life.” Sorry, this is going to be a venting post, simply because I need one.
Okay, judgment from bacon-winners… Sure, you can be a mom and work. That’s awesome. But don’t belittle me because I chose to stay home with my kids. When you say, “Oh yeah, I know that’s work too,” you better mean it! We can always tell when you’re just being condescending. And yes, I stayed home all day and my house is still a mess. But tell me, does your house get messy when you’re in it or when you’re away? Just saying – it’s going to stay clean if you’re gone all day. When you’ve got three “helpers” making your house a home, it can get messy really quickly. Right now as I’m trying to type this, Jacob is taking all of the folded laundry and pretending he’s shooting canons across the room. He’s wearing an oversized shirt and underwear, and I’m just praying he doesn’t have an accident in the one carpeted room in the house. The girls are making a mess of something upstairs, but they’re happy. I’m not rocking that boat. Messes are easier to deal with than upset children. No one’s dying – I’m calling it a win.
Now, judgment from other SAHMs. Instead of joining together to help each other out, so many moms sit at home secretly judging other moms. How many women have found themselves discouraged after looking at Facebook seeing other kids with cute hairbows and actually clean faces? THEN, instead of being happy for other moms who managed to pull off the decent family photo, we hate on them for not being real. You know what I mean?
Here’s to a push for honesty – in BOTH directions. People, get real. Look at the pictures on your walls. You’re not going to frame pictures of yourself at 5pm still not showered and probably wearing someone’s poop. You only frame the pictures where everyone looks good. Same with facebook. Stop judging and start encouraging. Now for honesty in the other direction. Here’s to posting the normal pictures! Why not? No make up, hair a mess, still in PJs, but everyone’s alive. At any rate, we should give ourselves more credit. This parenting thing is HARD.
Here’s an actual conversation I had with Jacob (2 yrs old)
Me: Mommy’s not here. She ran away.
Jacob: No, you didn’t. I ran away.
Me: Okay, bye, Jacob.
And people wonder why moms lose their minds? He’s my easy one. Sophia (5 yrs old) believes in the depths of her heart that she’s smarter than I am. She’s started correcting my cooking – as in telling me how to make the texture better. Faith (4 yrs old) is my avid storyteller, but don’t laugh at her stories or even call them stories – these things are real.
“There once was a girl. She walked down the road without her mommy or daddy. She was all alone. Then her face fell off . . . Why are you laughing? Don’t laugh at someone’s face falling off!”
SAHM or working moms – we all need to be a source of encouragement to other moms. We all need help. I dare you to show your crazy. Add a picture of no makeup, no fixed hair, still in PJs – whatever. You in your normal mommy state with your favorite words of encouragement. We can all use it. Social media is what you make of it. Why not make it a source of encouragement? Lets make sure that, when people look at our page, they leave smiling (either at or with us).