Since blogging is still new to me, I’m always looking up ways to make it better. One site said to write about what weird thing people are always asking you. For me, it’s always, “I’m tired of being pregnant. How do I get this kid out of here?” While I am not a doctor, I have found a way that gets the baby out. I’m not suggesting that this is for everyone. If nothing else, feel free to laugh at my own desperation. When you’ve been pregnant for nine full months, you are ready to get some relief. I always thought labor was the easiest part of being pregnant. The hardest part was the waiting . . . and waiting . . . and growing . . . and growing . . . and WHY CAN’T I STOP GROWING??
Here’s my 4-Step Method to Having a Baby:
1. Have sex. Sorry family members reading this. Awkward.
2. Drink castor oil. For some people, this is a colon cleanse. For me, nothing. People are wary of this idea, because they say the castor oil can go to the baby. Talk to your doctor if this idea scares you. Take 1-2 TBS or as much as you can stand. It tastes horrible. And it’s thick, so it coats the inside of your mouth. So that’s why you need to have #3 ready.
3. Drink green tea. I don’t like hot tea, so I just downed a liter of Lipton’s green tea with citrus. The caffeine in green tea is supposed to trigger contractions.
4. Walk as hard as you can as long as you can.
I did this method around ten in the morning with my first child. She came in the middle of the night (4 days before her due date). I did it again with my second child some time in the morning. She came in the middle of the night (2 weeks before her due date). My third baby didn’t wait for me to do anything – he just showed up all by himself. Such a cool little dude helping his mommy out like that.
I have had a few friends try this method, and it’s worked for them. Only a couple people have tried it with no luck. I’m guessing that this method only works if your body is already preparing for labor anyway. Definitely talk with your doctor before just going all out with this method.
Babies are such precious gifts. If you can handle keeping yours in utero – by all means, do it! Once they’re out, they crawl, and walk, and talk, and dress themselves, and go potty, and start losing teeth . . . I said I wouldn’t cry! They just grow up way too fast. Mine are only 5, 3, and 2, and I’m already missing the baby stage. Thankfully, my son still snuggles with me. It’s going to be a sad day when he outgrows my lap. Guess I’ll just have to make my lap bigger!