I Got Shot in the Head!!

Who knew doctors give shots to people IN THE HEAD?? I had no clue… until today. Nothing’s helping the headaches. MRI is clean, so it’s not a tumor.

I guess I was supposed to be thankful that I don’t have a tumor. I am. But I also don’t have an answers either which is extremely discouraging. Something has stayed in my mind this whole time, and I know it probably is only significant to me, but I thought I’d share it anyway. That’s what I do, right?

I don’t really miss much about high school. It wasn’t the best or the worst of times – it was just high school. What I do miss about it is the drama. Not the “She stole my boyfriend” drama, but the perks of going to smaller schools and getting to be in dramatic productions. One of my favorites will always be The Mikado.

The Mikado is Gilbert and Sullivan’s way of poking fun of a then unknown Japan (1885). This lighthearted comedy told the story of a wayward son lost without his love and the Lord High Executioner. The man who has been appointed to the position of the Lord High Executioner is coincidentally the next on the list of convicts to kill (for the crime of flirting). Hence, no executions have taken place in a while in the town of Titipu. Upon learning that the Mikado (emperor) is coming, the executioner has to act quickly, or it will be obvious why no executions have taken place. As the story progresses, one lonely man offers himself as a substitute for the executioner, since he cannot marry his true love. (Side note – his true love is engaged to the executioner. Awkward) Looks great, sounds great . . . then a change of heart. The young lad will marry the girl, and all the executioner is left with is a forged document. The Mikado arrives, pleased to hear an execution has taken place, reads the document, finds out the Lord High Executioner just killed his son.

Okay, so all that backstory was probably just for me, but this is the part I think of with my headaches.

Ko: (looking after YUM- YUM) There she 
goes ! To think how entirely my future happi 
ness is wrapped up in that little parcel! Real 
ly, it hardly seems worth while! Oh, matri 
mony! -(Enter POOH-BAH and PiSH-Tusn.) 
Now then, what is it? Can't you see I'm soli- 
oquizing? You have interrupted an apostro 
phe, sir! 

PISH: I am the bearer of a letter from his 
Majesty, the Mikado. 

Ko: (taking it from him reverentially) A 
letter from the Mikado! What in the world 
can he have to say to me? (Reads letter) Ah, 
here it is at last! I thought it would come 
sooner or later! The Mikado is struck by the 
fact that no executions have taken place hi 
Titipu for a year, and decrees that unless some 
body is beheaded within one month, the post 
of Lord High Executioner shall be abolished, 
and the city reduced to the rank of a village! 

PISH: But that will involve us all in irre 
trievable ruin! 

Ko: Yes. There is no help for it, I shall 
have to execute somebody at once. The only 
question is, who shall it be? 

POOH: Well, it seems unkind to say so, but 
as you're already under sentence of death for 
flirting, everything seems to point to you. 

Ko: To me? What are you talking about? 
I can't execute myself. 

POOH: Why not? 

Ko: Why not? Because, in the first place, 
self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not 
to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in 
the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital 
offence. 

POOH: That is so, no doubt. 

PISH: We might reserve that point. 

POOH: True, it could be argued six months 
hence, before the full Court. 

Ko: Besides, I don't see how a man can cut 
off his own head. 

POOH: A man might try. 

PISH: Even if you only succeeded in cutting 
it half off, that would be something.

Yes, I’m a nerd. I accept that. When my head hurts the most, I think, “If only I succeeded in cutting it half off, that would be something.” No, I don’t plan on self-decapitation. It’s extremely difficult – not to mention dangerous.

 

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One thought on “I Got Shot in the Head!!

  1. I think this is absolutely brilliant as I too am an avid fan of the mikado and I thoroughly enjoyed this little excerpt …… It is just priceless humor…..

    Like

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